Blog retraction

Um, we the editors would like to make a retraction and apologise to all those who have been adversely affected by the previous blog. Ah, the mini is fine, but clearly mistakes have been made. Its not uncommon for obituaries for famous people, and cars I guess, to be written in advance so when a death is sudden the presses are ready to roll. Occasionally guns are jumped and premature declarations of demises are accidently released, as in this occasion. The mini is definitely alive and tearing up the streets of London as I write. Rest ashore the person responsible has been reprimanded, sacked and crucified and will never write another obituary again. So to recap, mini ok, person sacked.

A picture of the mini doing some heavy lifting work showing how well recovered he is from his recent adverse medically experience

RIP Merv the Mini

It is a sad day when a mini has to be laid to rest. For some mini's that day comes sooner than for others, but regardless when that day occurs you cannot help but be left with the feeling their is no God. The life of Merv the Mini, so tragedically cut short by the cruel hand of fate, was one of fun and excitment and he will be sadly missed.

Replace I with Q for a good time

The cryptic title, is there anything more challenging to the mind. A good cryptic title, makes you think, causes that furrowing of the brow, then, as the puzzle is broken, that broad smile that breaks across your face as that feeling of superiority rolls across your soul and for a moment you feel as if you belong to a special club that is only for those of the correct level of cleverness and wit. Unfortunately, this is not one of those occasions. This title is not that clever.

Instead, the title serves as a shorthand way of introducing how we went to London for the London Eye and instead ended up at the risqué puppet musical 'Avenue Q'. The London Eye is over-rated anyway, though depending on who you speak to, not really rated at all. Unable to access our tickets for the eye and finding the staff who don't speak English in England completely unhelpful, we jumped on a bus heading towards Picadilly Circus to consider our options.

By the time we arrived in Central London, we had decided to take the short walk to Leicester Square to see what theatre tickets may be available for an afternoon show. With Grease sold out we decided on a five o'clock show for Avenue Q. With four hours to kill, Krystle guided us to a cafe and bar that she and Robbie had visited the day Dad and I had been at the cricket. It was a good choice and we had a lovely lunch at a reasonable price for the area we were in. Having eaten and with the sun shining we found a pub near the theatre where we could sit, drinking a bottle of wine.

The show was entertaining . If you've never heard of it, the show is basically an adult version of Sesame Street and includes songs such as "It Sucks to be Me", "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist" and "If you were Gay" and includes a gay character and another called Lucy the Sl*t. It is quite funny, but no where near as offensive as we thought it might be. Certainly a Nun would walk out, but I think the Priest would stay till the end. Still it was a good evening out anyway and our first show since 'Spam-a-lot'. As Krystle was promised a show a month, we are way down after our first year, unfortunately the 'Credit Crunch' has conspired against us.

The Fulham Chronicles Part IV: Despair, Luck and Cold Weather

I know, I know not really a catchy title, but the fourth attempt of any franchise is grasping around for any fresh ideas to keep the drones entertained. Not that I'm calling anyone a drone, but, well I'm sure you know what I mean. Notable examples include Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol and American Pie 4: Band Camp and it is usually hard enough to attract original cast members back. Usually characters are invented who have tenuous links to familiar favourites, but are actually pale imitations in comparison.

At least this fourth blog in the continuing tales of Fulham includes all original cast members and welcomes back from suspension perennial crowd pleaser Andrew 'AJ' Johnson, the hardest working shortman in show business (show business being Premier League football). Further, after a two week go slow in footballing terms due to international week, the average football fan has been left comatosed by the repetitive banalities of what is wrong with the Englan team. Except nothing has been wrong as new manager 'Don' Fabio Capello has led his side to four consecutive world cup qualifying victories. This interupption to normal programming has seen the most boring fortnight in football news, with the media forced to focus on news such as the spiralling debt of Premier Leauge clubs, estimated to be in excess of 3 billion pounds, news clearly of no interest to anybody.

So it was against this international backdrop that the return of the Premier League was highly anticipated by all . . . . . . . well all but my wife of course, who still refuses to acknowledge the greatness of all things football. Despite two weeks off, Fulham contrived to play like . . . . um, a stale movie franchise whose run out of ideas, ok enough with the comparisons, let's just say they weren't great. Having not won a game for a month, Fulham were in need of a result against Sunderland who boast former Manchester United great Roy Keane as their manager and a host of Tottenham cast-offs as players. Fulham had been on a 3 game losing streak and had lost in a scrappy game at West Bromich Albion with a late goal, this after a similar result in a away game at Blackburn. This game was again scrappy, but there would be no late goal, in fact there were no goals at all, in a manner of speaking.

Despite several bright periods of play, Fulham struggled to create meaningful chances and were lucky not to concede to Sunderland on at least two occasions. The first, a Kieron Richardson free kick managed to bounce off the right post, ricochet off to the left post, bounce back across the goal and rebound off the goalie, hit the post again before landing in the grateful arms of Fulham keeper Mark Schwarzer. A second half free kick went even better from Richardson, slamming into the top left hand corner. Fortunately the referee saw some interference from Sunderland players in the wall and disallowed the goal. From then on the game was destined for a draw and did not disappoint in this regard finishing 0-0.

The players warm up on the pitch before the game . . .

. . . . . . while the crowd waits patiently. They say a picture tells a thousand words and these pictures certainly do that, mainly reminding you to replace your batteries before going out or you'll end up with fairly pointless pictures!

Google - helping the little guy

I just wanted to take this opportunity to tell you about a little company called Google. A few of you may have heard of it, don’t worry if you haven’t, that’s probably not your fault. Google is a marvellous company that dos so many great things. They have a motto, ‘Do no evil’. The last person to have this motto was Hitler, but what are the chances of lightening striking twice, virtually impossible.

Google provide invaluable community services. If you want to know the name of the movie starring 'whatsiname', you know that guy that was in that other thing with Julia Roberts, Google will tell you. If you want to find someone in the world with exactly the same name as you, Google will help you their too. If you want to trace your own online footprint, you'd start where? That's right, Google. Why Google will even help you find your way around where ever you want to go. If you've forgotten what your house looks like, Google will show you. Need some obscure, out of print, no longer covered by copyright book, Google will have it. Need to translate from or to English, Google will help you with 34 languages, from Arabic to Vietnamese. You didn't even know they were languages, did you. You do now thanks to Google. Even this humble blog is powered by Google.

But now I say, ask not what Google can do for you, ask what you can do for Google. They have already improved your life in so many ways. So to share your new found enthusiasm for this little company called Google who dares to dream big, if you see the word Google on this page please click as many times as you feel you can. Dare you dream big as well?

Fulham done at home

So I'm going to ignore the booing, jeering and name calling (who knew my wife could be so cruel) to once again write about football. Saturday the 27th of September saw a visit by cross town rivals West Ham, ironically the side that is closer to us in East London then Fulham.

Players are led out onto the pitch

Some of the players look very short!!

Fulham started with their strongest side looking for points after a 1-0 loss away to Blackburn the previous weekend. This had been followed by the same score mid week against Burnley which saw Fulham dumped out of the Carling Cup. But after two strong performances at home hopes were high for a form reversal. And for 42 minutes Fulham dominated possession and seemed easily the better side. Then in less than 5 minutes West Ham had scored twice and Fulham reduced to 10 men when Andy Johnson was sent off, and a good result seemed beyond them.

Doom and gloom hung over the ground as the second half began, but Fulham continued to dominate despite the numerical disadvantage, and within 15 minutes a Lucas Neill handball allowed Danny Murphy the chance to reduce the margin to one goal. This he duly did and Fulham were back in the game. The West Ham fans went silent as the Fulham fans exploded, rapturously chanting 'You're not singing anymore' taunting the opposing fans.

For the next half an hour West Ham were not without their chances, but Fulham seemed the more likely to score an equaliser. Chance after chance was created, by none were converted, to the eternal frustration of the 'Tourettes' afflicted fan seated next to me who colourfully shouted at every near miss. Some people are quite intense about their football.

The final whistle blew just as Fulham stalwart Jimmy Bullard thundered a free kick, the final play of the game, into the wall, disappointingly consigning the home side to defeat. 2-1 was the disappointing final result, but the game saw a side reduced to 10 men continue to play ith a passion and flair that still bodes well for a season beyond survival tactics.

Some Sad News...

Well this week has not been a great one. Poor little Merv failed his MOT test, which is essentially a road worthiness test, and it seems he has fallen into a depressive state about life at the moment. Thing were made even worse when the mechanic who took him to the MOT returned exclaiming "Why, why, why would you drive this thing?!". To which the only suitable response was "SSHHHHH!! He can hear you!". I suspect Merv being demoted to a meer roadside parking space may also be playing havoc with his sense of self worth. We've had British Gas tearing up most of the footpaths and digging holes all down the road, and unfortunately Merv has temporarily lost his driveway space, and he's taken it as a personal attack despite my trying to convice him the world is not against him. I fear that an open-air screening of "Herbie Goes Bananas" may be the only thing to bring the little car back to his former self...

Not much else has happened this week. We went to work. Went to the pub on Friday. Went to another pub on Saturday for a 30th, and Mike went to the football which I know you'll all be looking forward to hearing about. Tesco officially has a Christmas aisle, the days are getting shorter and inevitably colder. Hope everyone at home is well.